I understand your friends "need" to help, but I strongly discourage it. Most of my issues have arouse from other people's "need" to help, as well. You and your W are the only ones who need to deal with this. I am afraid you W will look at this as a way for you to control the sitch. I would politely ask him to cancel the lunch. Like your w, you cannot control his choice, but I would certainly make it clear that you are uncomfortable with him trying to get answers for you.
