I have just had the opportunity to read through your sitch. One thing that you mentioned kind of stuck out at me. "It takes a lot of courage to put up with this and basically put your life on hold while your WAS decides." You are right it does take a lot of courage, patience and positive visualization. I have been at this a little longer than some and not as long as others. I ask myself on a regular basis, if I am ready to throw in the towel. But as long as I have hesitation in this, I will keep on keeping on. However, I don't think anyone should put there life on hold. We should be out doing things (GAL) and working on ourselves (PMA). But doing them in a way that we don't consider to be against our marriage, ie having an affair. I do a bunch of stuff for myself, and it has helped. I have been approached by women who have heard I am seperated, which we are still living in the same house and no d has been threatened, and I kindly decline. It is a great PMA booster to be thought of like this, but I don't want to add the final nail in the coffin that way. I understand that the OM issue is a toughy. I have decided to be patient with my w with regards to this, however I think it best not to dwell on it. I try to take advantage of our time together. This is not an easy answer, each of us is different. I know a bunch who have issued the ultimatum, "i will not be part of your life until OM is gone or I love you enough to let you go" Any way you slice it, it comes down to your comfort zone and "deal breaker". I chose not to see it as this, and have had to dig deep for patience through the sitch. If I were to go back in time, I ask myself if I would do it again. Depends on the day as to how I answer. Look deep inside and determine if you are ready for the long haul, I don't think any of us actually think it will take as long as it does. It is easier to show patience, than have to go back on ultimatums. If you are willing to give up your M based on this, then by all means take that route. Sorry such a long post, but I have a tough time getting things from my head to keyboard short and sweet. Good luck, and hope some of this is helpful.
