Healing and Moving Forward

[bambam1970]

Hello my friends!

I needed a break from reality. I've spent the last several days with my kids and myself. The boys played baseball all weekend, so I was gone most of it. I let them have a sleep over Saturday night and D8 too. So, I had 6 kids at the house. I loved it. I really got to know my boy's friends better....joking w/them and laughing! The great thing is, I've not really been able to do this before. H was always right in there w/boys and friends. He prides himself on being a kid at heart So much so that he acts like a 16 year old kid. I never had the chance to cut loose and have fun w/kids. I did this weekend.

I made them get up for church on Sunday too! They did and my boys and their buddies sat in the pew beside me w/the handsome button downs. I was bursting w/pride of these great kids I have. We left church and ran to their next game. Afterwards, I brought them home and we hung out all day. It was truly one of the best weekends I've had in a very long time!

H picked them up at 6:30 am to go on a small trip to visit his brother. They will be home tomorrow afternoon and than going camping w/him on Thursday and Friday.

I've spent these days working on my life. I've done some work...walked....and read. BUT, yesterday and today I worked my a** off ripping out cupboards in the new house. I decided to get new ones. So, my brother and his wife came over and we took out cupboards, countertops and cast iron sink (HEAVY!!)! The countertops and cupboards were not in units and we had to take them apart one board at a time. Each board had about 10 nails that were at least 2 inches long. It was hard. My fingers and arms ache tonight. But it is an ache I'm proud of!

I've been working on getting everything together for the divorce. I returned my signed petition to my attorney yesterday. He probably filed today.....which is my 14th wedding anniversary. Irony?

And a kind of funny note tonight. I went to the bank and removed my name from the joint accounts we had. He uses it now and I've opened my own. He called me from vacation and told me that the debit card was in my name and when he tried to use it, it took the card! He called the bank and was told "Well, 'bambam' was in today and removed herself from this account". It will take 2 weeks for him to get a new one. He is borrowing cash from his brother until he gets home.

I guess choices come w/consequences. I laugh when I think of that machine eating his card. He's all about being "Disneyland Dad" and spending loads of $$$ doing fun things with them. I guess I made a point when I had his card confiscated w/o even knowing it!

Hope all is well w/you all. I am slowly getting on my feet and heading to happiness. I can feel it.

IMP, I miss you. Are you there?