Well, j, I don't know if the hair shirt will ever be able to be removed from me. Perhaps my H wants to make me suffer the same amount of years he says I made him suffer. As for the "classy" remark, I think sometimes he has to spew out some of the built up crap he has inside.
Yes, I could have been a better wife, I could have maintained the size 5 figure he first met me with. I wish I had done alot of things differently, but I didn't, and I don't know how to get that through to him, that I cannot change the past, only make the present and future better.
How the heck do I get him to see that he had a hand in how things have gotten to this point? He really thinks it was all me, and the only thing he did was to not take control years ago. I originally took all the blame for everything, but now with all I have seen and read, and learned from all the wise peeps here, that it wasn't all my fault, and while I was somewhat controlling, well, sometimes there is an imbalance of control. I felt I had to step up and take care of whatever he didn't want to take care of.
And I did ask him if it made him feel good to bring up the bad things he said I did, and to hurt me with them, he said no.
He said he still feels that I will feel that we made it and then "POOF" the mask will come off, and I will be like before.
