First off, it is not like counseling. No one but the two of you discusses your marriage. Everything is private. Just the two of you alone together with your notebooks. And even you can't criticize her because it's against the rules to talk about the other person. You only talk about yourself. There will be no criticism, constructive or otherwise. She will write about her feelings and read about yours. If there are changes that she thinks she should make, so be it. No one will tell her she needs to change.
I can see where she would be sensitive to criticism with a background like that.
It is only one weekend. One weekend that could make the next 30 years of both your lives more enjoyable. Where is it held in NJ? Is it at a monastery or a hotel? Here in Tampa it was at a monastery, so it was a very peaceful, relaxing environment. You do not have to commit to the post sessions before you go. So you could just sell her on the weekend, and when that is over, you could see if she's willing to do the post.
Perhaps it would be more appealing to offer to do it in a different location. There's a group in Orlando. You could combine it with a trip to Disneyworld. I know some people have gone to San Diego to do it. You could do the weekend anywhere and then get permission from your NJ group to do the post sessions with them.
Those are all the ideas I have now. Perhaps something will come to me. Of course, there's the idea of doing it for the children. So they will live in a happier household.
And, what about....it will help you to understand her. If you understood her better, then you could change in ways to make the family happier. (Don't mention that you would prefer that this be reciprocal, that's understood.)
Good luck, LG. (I don't know about needing to sign something about wanting to go. We didn't have to do that here in Tampa, but I think that individual groups do differ.)
