Of course being desired is a really good way of being validated. And having someone clearly not desire you is a good way of being anti-validated. For those who crave validation at that particular time, "making an effort" just draws attention to the fact that you aren't carried away by passion the way they assume you would be with a more desirable partner. And sometimes that turns out to be the truth.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
