It's interesting that you used the words "gone to the trouble." "Gone to the trouble," and "taken the effort" are not words that go over well with some HD folks.
So I ask again, why? Why is making an effort to have a better sex life a bad thing? Why does it seem that if it isn't effortless it's second-rate?
That's a good question. Sex is kind of like dancing and conversation. If you're trying too hard, you're doing it badly. If you're relaxed and happy and not really thinking about each step, you're probably doing it well.
Now is trying too hard worse than not doing it at all? Having been on the receiving end of both, my answer is "it depends". On what? Let me get back to you on that. Obviously resentment is a mood-killer, as is any hint of "please tell me I was good!" But there's more to it than that.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
