When's it my turn?

[SDFoundGirl]

Thanks for checking in, Julie! Glad I can help. Really, the staying detached piece is what has shocked me the most, but it's really about giving your S space and not putting the expectation for happiness on them. Space is good...I'm guessing that even you want some space sometimes. We can be comfortable with others' need for space when we are happy and comfortable with ourselves because we don't measure our happiness by our partner's actions.

You'll find a good guy, Julie. I've never met you, but your energy is incredibly positive and beautiful. It's gonna be a good life for you dear!

Ahh...I can't remember what I've posted lately, and I'm too lazy to go back and read, so I apologize if any of this is redundant.

About a year ago, my H was writing love letters to LW on our anniversary. I was working on PMA and GAL, and H and I pretty much were living separate lives. We weren't sharing a bed anymore. It wasn't fun.

A year later, however, things are different. I'm enjoying my H and our M. I *like* to see him and talk to him. We're partners for the first time in our M. We're considerate and loving toward each other, and we're both quick to apologize or check in if something seems amiss. Ego is very rarely seen in these parts, and I have almost completely stopped thinking about LW. I don't snoop anymore. I've even toyed with the idea of not posting or visiting here anymore, but I feel responsible for helping others the way people like Jeff and Cherrish helped me; Liz and Rob and I went through all of this together and had countless nights posting late late late; other folks I've bonded with and want to support....

H has planned a romantic trip for our anniversary, and I'm thrilled. It feels like both the end and beginning of something. In the past three weeks, H and I have both let go of SO much...and the energy is markedly different.

So, it only took from May 2006 to August 2007 to feel normal again. Not the old kind of normal, but this really awesome, new normal. That's what DBing does for you. It's not about fixing a M, it's about saving and discovering and loving yourself. And that's a precious, precious gift.

SD