Need advice on WAW with OM

[svejk]

I am just trying to get a handle on why my wife is hiding the relationship with the OM.

Is it reasonable to assume that my wife is hiding her relationship with the OM because she does not want to completely ruin our relationship?

Or is there possibly another reason such as she wants to hide it from her family since we are still married? Or is she hiding it because she doesn't want to hurt me?

Why would she tell me she needs space/time to figure things out instead of just doing the honorable/moral thing and tell me that it's over and she has someone else?

I just can't see myself ever doing this to anyone whether I loved them or not. I couldn't even do this to someone I hate, it's really not worth it. The guilt of hurting someone so much would eat me up inside. I know my wife is not that kind of person either, and that makes it that much more difficult to understand her motivation.

I'd love to ask her these questions, but I know I wouldn't get an honest answer and I would just push her further away. I've been struggling with calling her all day to confront her, but luckily some of your responses have made me think about it. Without this forum I would have certainly called her by now.

I'm wondering if it's even worth the pain and suffering I am enduring now, if in the end the result will probably not be what I want anyway.

I have a lot of respect for those of you on this forum who have suffered through this much longer than I have (6 months so far). It takes a lot of courage to put up with this and basically put your life on hold while your WAS decides.

Anyway, thank you all for being here and hopefully someday I will learn enough out of this to be able to help others on this forum.

Thanks,
Svejk