its ok, another day. Spoke with H about some financial stuff, he owes me money and of course does not have it all. He did not overspend he just miscalculated. Whatever, he forgets I can log into the online banking and see where his money went. Of course I dont say a word, just try to stay positive, etc. I can live without all the money right now, so that is ok.
The washing machine broke again today (one of the arms on the drum comes off when it gets out of balance to much). Texted H and he showed up and fixed it, he had just gotten off work and needed to come by the house to get his air compressor anyways.
Spoke with a lawyer today and realized I do not have the money to go that route yet, but the L told me that I can go down to the courthouse and they have family law facilitators that will help me with filing. Found out that I can file the CS and the custody paperwork without doing the disolution paperwork. So probably will do that Thursday when H has the kids if I can squeeze it in. He confirmed with me that H is giving me way more in CS that he is required by the state and confirmed it would be in my best interest to get the agreement in writing through the courts to protect me and the kids. Not sure what I will tell H when he asks why I didn't just file for divorce too. Hoping he just figures it is part of the process. He is not one to get into finding out about it.
But been thinking all day if maybe LRT and 180 will not work with him, that he has made up his mind, and he is the kind to not change it, no matter what. So even if he realizes what he is doing is wrong and not what he wants, he will stay in it, just because. Sometimes I think maybe I should just file the divorce, maybe that would wake him up? Honestly I feel silly sometimes not doing anything. It would be one thing if he was still here, but he is out of the house, making a life with her. He makes a point of bringing her up, and talking about what they are both doing every time I see him. I try not to let it bother me, but it does.
