If sex is important to cac and you have gone to the trouble of understanding that and trying to step up to the plate then cac needs to do the same for you in regard to QT. Speaking as a high-drive QT person as well as a high-drive PT person I can definitely say BOTH are equally important and it hurts just as bad not getting QT as it does not getting PT.
Agreed. It does hurt. And it makes me resentful. And feeling resentful is a sure-fire way to send my desire for sex into a tailspin. I think I can truthfully say that cac DOESN'T GET IT. Just like I didn't get it. He doesn't hear me just like I didn't hear him.
It's interesting that you used the words "gone to the trouble." "Gone to the trouble," and "taken the effort" are not words that go over well with some HD folks.
So I ask again, why? Why is making an effort to have a better sex life a bad thing? Why does it seem that if it isn't effortless it's second-rate?
Cac may well find out that that way to get you more desirous of him is to spend more time doing QT activities with you.
I know this to be true. I actually feel horny after an argument, which is essentially our version of talking about feelings. I have told him this in plain English, but I don't think he believes me. Or he doesn't hear it.
