Thanks all for you comments. I am feeling a little stronger today. Each day is different for me.
I will continue to "fake it till I make it!"
Just hearing your supportive comments helps a great deal.
I am definately being conscious of what, when & how much I eat. But I am pretty small framed to begin with and it is way too easy for me to drop weight. If I am feeling like I can't eat a meal I make sure to drink one of those gross "ensure" drinks - I just suck it down with a straw so I can't taste it. At least it gets the nutrients in.
About making him wonder where I am - I know that is probably good advice but I have issues with it for the following reasons: 1.) That is not the way I have ever been and I feel like it would be obvious why I was doing it. I also feel as though it would be "playing games" and I hate that stuff. 2.) If I were to start that, I know he would as well and as strong as I feel I am right at this moment - I know it would drive me absolutely nuts if he was not letting me know when/if he was going to be home etc.
I like what was said above about the small talk and how that is a big part of M's anyway and that no major change will come out of a big discussion. It just has to be small, steady and consistent. Like you all keep saying => patience! I am learning, slowly, but learning...
Heim - that sounds like a great idea to go hiking w/W and D's. When I went there were so many families doing that & many brought their dogs. I think it is a good opportunity for you 2 to have quality time to talk - but not so much pressure if there is silence since there is so much going on around you. Also just the scenary is so beautiful that how can it not put someone in a slightly better mood? For me, I live in NJ so there are some mtns by me that I went to.
Also, just this morning I saw a piece of paper from his IC on the counter. On it was a note of the 23rd - so I am thinking that is when his next appt. is. 2 weeks? C'mon? I was hoping that he was at least going to go 1-2 wk to figure out what he wants to do. But at least he's going there instead of a lawyers office right?
You all still think I should not reach out for any affection, even a hug? Like I said it has been weeks since I have stopped and he hasn't initiated... (Did I happen to mention that he is the most stubborn person I know? And all his friends/family would agree with that one!) Which makes me think, if I don't he NEVER will...
