She sounds like she is both shaken and stirred. Not the way to order a drink huh? You are right to turn it down for now. She may be scared that she will be all alone at the end of her actions so she is trying to keep one foot in the door. It will be good for the kids if she will keep connecting with them, but they will not be her ultimate goal. She will one day try to find out how to bring that baby home.
I'm afraid you will one day be making tougher choices than you think you are making today. What happens if she and the kids complete a proper bond, the kids fall in love with the baby, and you see all the signs of the woman you cared for so deeply?
When the only bridge left to cross is the one with that OM baby on it, and your W is holding her arms out to you, what then? The thought must really leave a very sour taste in your mind today. But if she already had a child from someone else when you first met, would you have crossed that bridge? Is it really a bridge you can never cross, or just one that will take a very special loving caring human being?
Perhaps the baggage of the OM always being around for the baby would tip the scales in the end.
