It's good to hear from you. Sorry to hear that things aren't going that positive for you.
The only way to stop a WAS who's a bully is to know your rights. Paying bills is part of life and the normal way to run a home. Yes you lied to her but be honest with her and yourself. My guess is when she inquired about this money you were already walking on egg shells with her. Not wanting to be the bearer of bad news you chose to let her belive something else. Show her the transactions that showed you were trying to eliminate the debt as a M coupled. Then let her take in the information anyway she wants. Don't leave the house until you're under a court order to do so. Use the Act as If technique and show her that what's going on isn't bothering you. Let her second guess herself and she probably will. Don't let her bully you anymore.
Try speaking with I statements and stand up for what you believe is yours. This new side of her might be what she's looking for.
