Frustrated and Saddened #2

[stewart10]

Well it appears that I am on a down on the roller coaster. Although I can't really say that I had any up recently. She has just been really cold and short with me lately. No real reason for it, she just has. Just have to try and not let it get to me and keep up the PMA. Really don't understand what I did, but I don't really think I did anything. Just on the down slide where she begins to pull back away. Just have to continue GAL on my end. Too hot tonight to play basketball, but maybe I will try to do something else. Just to get out of the house for awhile.

Made a slight mistake today. Asked her to do something. She obviously didn't want to do it. Think it made her feel bad. Then it made me feel bad because we do it every year. Makes me realize how she really feels. I probably should have waited until she was a bit less cold towards me to ask, or not at all. Just every piece of me wants to start doing things that make me feel normal because I know how things are so not normal right now. But patience is necessary right now.

I could really use some good news. Things have just been kind of dragging along. No real positives that I have been able to se, and believe me I have been looking. Kind of in the dumps wondering if anything that I am doing is helping the situation. I know that I am better off now than I was when this all started. But in all honesty, I want my life back. That is my ultimate goal. I want to share my life with the woman that I chose to do so with.

Got a wedding coming up this weekend. I am in it so I have to be up there on Friday evening. She has to work so she is coming up Saturday afternoon. Anniversary is coming up two weeks from yesterday. I am going to try and make it as comfortable a day/weekend for her. When we were at my aunt's party on Saturday, we were invited to a barbecue on the 18th and my w declined because it was our anniversary weekend. Just so confusing.