I'm starting the journey home!

[dlt1]

Hey Atlas,
Some good advice you've already gotten on the latest events of your rollercoaster ride.
Kelley's roommate statemnet really hit home. My W told me during teh bomb that she didn;t want a roommate. I really think my just being her friend has let her drop her guard and open back up a bit. We're able to talk openly about our lives. I've been avoiding teh R talks, and this really has made her more comfortable. Being your W's friend is so the right thing to do. I know if my W says she is still wanting a D, it will be so much harder to do this. But, it's about changing your REACTIONS as much as your actions. How have you responded to her each time she says she wants/needs to file? How has that worked for you? A bit cheeseless? Now thsi is going to be really easy for me to say to you vs. if the roles were reversed, I can only imaging how hard thsi is for you. Think about saying something along these lines next she goes into the filing stuff:
"Well, I can't discount your feelings on this. I do not agree, but I respect the way you feel. You have to do what's best for you. Please understand that I can not file jointly with you,I still feel we can work. I am going to take longer to agree to a divorce, but I will not harbor any ill will towards you for doing it. We just aren't on the same page."
I'm thinking out loud here, but I am wondering if this will give her control? Maybe it's time she sees just an inkling of acceptance by you that she might be right. Of course, she's not, but tell us that...not her! LOL
I know you will find the answers.