Good or Bad??

[ourcrisis]

LO, if my situation is any indication, your H is turning around. From this board, I already know there will be back and forth with OW. And this phase is HARD. Loving, distant, loving, distant. As my h put is once, "When I am with you, I am very happy. When I am not with you, I am stressed." This is even after making the decision to end it with OW. Your h probably loves you, but, unfortunately, he loves OW also.

At this point, H:
- knows he loves you
- does not want M to end (or soon he will realize that)
- feels guilty towards OW because HE started all this with OW
(regardless of who initiated first)
- feels bad about just dumping OW (or may be he does not know
yet if he wants to dump her)
- does not know what to do
- meanwhile, all he can do is be very nice to you, and may
be to OW also

So, watch if the time/energy with you is increasing. That
will be a sign.

As with getting tired, I totally know what you mean.
Sometimes I feel, "WTH, why be so nice to me? If you
really want to be with me, end the A" But of course,
this does not happen right away.

I can say, really really try hard to ignore the tiem he
interacts with OW. Concentrate enjoying the time
with H. Having said that, I have my emotional explosion
all teh time when I was in that phase. It DID NOT help
the situation. You may also feel down at times, just
get over it as much as you can. (VERY HARD TO DO, sympathy
for you).

OW will not disappear right away. It will be two steps
forward, one step back. From your thread, I can see
that it is moving forward, though. Keep it up.
I know tough love approach does not work with my H, so
I have to let him quit very slowly. I try to tell myself,
"If he is a decent man (ha), he won't be able to just
dump a woman and leave her out to wither. That's why
he cannot just go cold turkey. He has feelings too.
I would not marry a guy who would just dump a girl and
does not care whether she lives or die."

All I can say now really this period is VERY EMOTIONALLY
draining. Take care.