So I asked H last night how his IC session went. He said he liked the guy and that he made another appt. with him. But, the guy advised him that he should not move out - so it looks like he is not going to. Part of me had actually gotten used to the idea and thought it might be for the best. Like I said before, we are not able to have normal interactions, there is NO affection whatsover and I feel like we are at this stand-still. The therapist told him that if he has been feeling this way for 6yrs - why rush to make a decision. I mentioned to him how over the weekend he had said that "this living arrangement was not working for him" & he said, "what, are you going to kick me out?". And I said "No, I want to support whatever it is that you feel you need to do". But this is SO difficult on me. I am down to about 100lbs and everyday I try to put my best face forward for him but it is killing me inside. How should I be around the house with him? It feels wrong to just ignore him & it feels awkward to make small talk. I feel like it was better in the beginning when I was still trying to be affectionate with him and then I stopped b/c I was trying to give him space. I don't know if that is working either...I also have been feeling so lonely that part of me just wants to jump him! That was probably 1 of the biggest issues of our relationship (me not initiating enough) and now I want more than anything to do that.
