Pete's Further Progress - 2

[LoginName]

Pete,
I'd like to say it's good to see you again, but I guess not under these circumstances.

Where is that great lawyer you had?

Regardless of the money, the assetts and even the mediation, what and who are you? The money, the affair, the mediation, anything and everything else, has happened, it's past. What kind of a person are you though?

She can still guilt trip you effortlessly? No she can't Pete. It's a game you are playing with yourself. Are you enjoying the game? What do you get if you win?

By playing the game, do you think you stay connected to her? Is a twisted, combative, abusive relationship better than no relationship? Is that how it feels? If you let go, will you disappear, never be loved again, be a failure, so you have to keep playing? It's not true, Pete. A sick relationship is not what you need or want. It keeps you from living and from having the relationship you should have. You can be loved, and will be loved in the future. You can start by giving yourself a break. You can start by liking yourself. You are not a failure. The people who's lives were destroyed by the tsunami aren't failures. You got hit by a tidal wave, Pete. You can't control everything. You're not a failure. Let go, Pete. Even now, even with what has happened to you, there is still so much joy in the world, so much for you to experience. Let go of this so you can enjoy it. Don't be afraid.

The answer to your question "...how do I...regain some advantage" is: Don't Play the Game. You don't have to. You decide what you want and go for it. You're goal shouldn't be to Win at her expense. She doesn't have to lose for you to win. She has been setting the rules anyway. You don't need an advantage, you need to untangle yourself from this emotional mess.

You don't need an advantage. You've got all the advantage you need. Don't play the game. You don't need her.

There is no guilty party in the relationship. Get over it. Your both guilty. Niether of you is guilty. Stop thinking like that. It doesn't matter, especially now. That's all over. Doesn't matter if she's seeing the OM. It's you that needs to change.

If you can get your head on straight, if you can find Your center and live your life, the rest can't hurt you (or at least the pain becomes clean and healthy, and it's your pain, and it can't destroy you).

I don't think you can do this instantly, especially if you haven't done it yet, but you can try, and you can start, and you'll have to do it eventually anyway - unless you like feeling the way you do now.

Petey - stop playing the game.