CVA - "Back in Shape"

[Heimlich]

CVA,

I agree with WAW. Seems a gentle (gentle) nudge is in order (did I say gentle?).

Nothing wrong about being scared (terrified!) of this discussion.

If you're Ari, then you're goal in life should be to fire someone like he did last night

Unfortunately, I'd be more like Turtle on the show. Just not quite that doughy, and I look awful in a basebal cap.

BD

[new_attitude]

I agree w/ waw, tell her that you're seeing a new IC and maybe somehow move the conversation over to the possibility of mc. Read her reaction before proceeding any further!

[Not Much Left]

That was funny when he was in the office w/ the twins. I just loved Lloyd's reactions! Oh well, I digress.

Yeah, I think I will bring up the IC and see how it goes.

Thanks all, really appreciate the advice. Gives me comfort.

[Nomopo]

CVA,

After I saw my new IC a three or four times (and while W was actively not working on the M), I told W I had been seeing a new IC, and that she was great, and that we were working on some things I wanted to change about me for me (and for my next R whether that was with W or someone else). A little later I asked W if she would be willing, for me, to go see my IC by herself, so my IC could get W's side of the story, and what the (my?) problems were from W's perspective, so that IC could then continue to help me. W agreed. (Note: she painted an extremely bleak picture for IC (I'm sure trying to justify her positions, stance), so if this happens prepare yourself for the worst. Then, if it happens, you'll be ready, and if W doesn't say you're awful you'll be pleasantly surprised.) W was very impressed, and asked to see IC alone. IC said no. A few weeks later I approached W about seeing IC together under the theory of working on our communicating and co-parentiing, because we needed to do that no matter what for our kids. And we've been going under that arrangement ever since.

CVA, don't you think you should see the new C at least a couple more times to make sure you like her before you try to sign W up? This may be your one shot to get W in MC, and you better not waste it on a new C only to discover later she isn't right for you or your sitch. What's the rush? Can't you approach W about this in a few weeks? She's not going anywhere.

Nomo

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Nomo. Maybe better to wait a bit. I go tomorrow to see her and then W is in Dallas starting Fri. No rush.

Will be interesting to see what happens when she gets back from Dallas. I cant worry about what her family says / doesnt say. I say interesting because she may / may not see the pastor who married us who has helped before. He is W's sister's husband's dad!

Anyhow, that's about it for right now anyway.

See ya

[SuperDad]

CVA,
Keep it slow and steady. You are on the right path. Your biggest enemy is your own impatience.

SD

[Not Much Left]

THanks SD
Think I will watch the rerun of Entourage and make sure I dont act like Ari tomorrow.

Left early tonight, W not feeling great. Nothing bad happened, just absolutely nothing happened worth mentioning. When she doesnt feel good, I go even further down the food chain so...tomorrow is another day.

CVA

[SunnySeason]

Just checking in with you CVA,

Glad to hear you had a calm evening, even though it was uneventful.

Your biggest enemy is your own impatience

SuperDad has it right on that, patience is a toughy on the DB trail.

Sunny

[dlt1]

Perhaps Axl Rose had a little more insight than he has been given credit:
"Welcome to the Jungle"
and of course...
"All we need is a little Patince"

Hey CVA, reading some good posts this a.m. and feeling good! My W wanted C, I resisted, she dropped the bomb a few days later. I said C was a good idea, she said she did not see the point, she knew how she felt. I scheduled a sesh and let her know in my "farewell' letter when and where it was. She did not show, but asked me about it when I next saw her. I told her my next one was and said I'd appreciate if she would go, but understood if she still did not want to. She said she would go herself, I gace her my appt. We're both going individually. C wanst us together sometime soon, but not sure when exactly. See C tonite and hope to push for a set time. W sees C tomorrow, so perhaps she can schedule with my input of times.
If you can bring up that you went again, perhaps it will spark an interest. See if you can wait it out and let her bring it up.
Good luck!!

[Not Much Left]

Thanks guys/girls

Ok so here is the plan.
1. See IC today and see what she says, just bought Harville Hendrix Book and need to read it.
2 Plan out this weekend while W and kids in Dallas
- Get a new Mountain Bike, always cool to buy a toy.
- Try not to kill myself riding it. Note to self, will only validate what W said when I told her I was buying one.:D
- Get a massage on Saturday, 1 1/2 hour hot rock massage!
- Clean driveway w/ manly power washer!
- Throw party at my house! Just kidding though it would be fun.
- Lift weights and continue chiseling the bod! 6% body fat in sight!
- Rent some cool movies to watch in my Theater Room which I designed but rarely get a chance to use.
- Go see Bourne Ultimatum, DOnt care that W wants to see it, have asked her out with no response, her loss.
- Shop for some new clothes and go through closet to get rid of stuff that has been in there for 7 yrs!

Is that enough? Hope so, I am worn out just writing it.

Later
C