This search for happiness is getting really old. He was not happy with me, thought he needed to be with someone else, not happy with her, thought it was because he needed to be with the kids, not happy being with the kids. When does this search ever end?
Mimi
It ends when it ends and unfortunately no one has come up with a better answer than that. It ends when he really starts facing his issues instead of just sort of facing them (my H sort of faced his, but not nearly enough to REALLY face them). I personally think my H faced the WRONG issues when he came back, and yours may have to.
My H faced his guilt issues over what he was doing to his family. Faced guilt issues about not being with his kids every night. Faced guilt issues that he hadn't really given our marriage a chance. He even faced guilt issues about spending too much time at work prior to the bomb. Those weren't the issues that are driving this train though. They are deeper and until these guys (or gals) or ready to face those deeper issues then they will continue to search for happiness in all the wrong places.
It sucks. We can't make them realize it either. Their thoughts are real to them. THey think they know what is making them unhappy and they know how to fix it. They have to take this journey on their own and realize on their own that it doesn't work.
Look at my H - left to be with OW because he wasn't happy at home. 3 weeks into being with her he almost commits suicide. Does that sound like his move made him happier???
Sometimes you just want to hit them over the head with a brick and hope when they wake up their mind will be right again, but it won't work.
Just hang in there. Unfortunately your H isn't done yet.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
