Lessons from a former WAS

[thegoodfight]

Delia,

Sometimes things are better, sometimes you just don't know. Here is an example last night when we were putting our S. to bed. Normal routine she complained about recent breakouts on her face. Not bad ones but unusual for her since even in high school she did have acne. I said it was probably due to stress, the hot humid weather and the time of the month it was.

W. said but I am not stressed, I did not comment, but said I am sorry you are breaking out, I am sure it will get better. She said I don't mean to upset you or blame you. I said back I know I love you anyway pizza face and all and we had a chuckle.

Point being the one in doubt does not always understand their own emotions. Another thing that I have observed during these last 3 months is when W. stresses she withdraws and avoids contact emotional and physical. Once she withdraws it gets worse and she seems to start to spiral. She typically does this after a period were things go very well and we are able to be somewhat emotinally intimate.

Clearly another sign of the emotional turmoil the spouse in doubt experiences. Regardless of the outcome I can say it is much easier to be the one who knows what they want in life! I have been on both sides and although some may disagree, trust this is a true statement. Think to yourself what would it be like if I had no idea where I was going or who I wanted to be with. It is not very pleasant.