I'm divorcing my wife: I'm fed up with how I've been treated, for sure. A is a minor issue. It's "Owning her sh**t" that is the real problem.
I'll cut to the chase. There are only two grounds for divorce: adultery and the abandonment of the unbelieving spouse.
Be clear if you are man of faith. Being fed up with her not owning her sh*t is not a biblical ground. Think about it. Maybe you didn't own your sh*t for most of the marriage and became less than the man you should have been -- we all have. That doesn't justify a divorce.
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I was never a bad kid or adult. Goody Two Shoes. Even though I can tear it up in music with the best of'em. Never strayed. Don't lie cheat or steal. A good guy.
Well, bro. Let's get back to the Gospel: it's not about keeping your nose clean or being MR. Goody two shoes. It's about radical transformation. It's about the dead coming to life. It begins with the horrific realization that we are all wicked, awful, contemptible sinners. If God were just, we would ALL be toast. Instead he's merciful and gracious. He sent his Son to live a perfect life FOR US and take the punishment for FOR US. When we believe, a great exchange takes place, our sins fall upon Jesus and Jesus's righteousness falls upon us. WHAT a DEAL!!! But you see, after there, there is no boasting or self-righteousness, the Cross puts to death any notions that we are "good". We are humbled and can face other people's horrible actions with great mercy because we have been forgiven and accepted in the Son. We are transformed. We were dead and now we live. We were lost and now we're found. If we were good, we wouldn't need a Savior, would we? Jesus is not a cosmic Tony Robbins. He's not here to polish up our character and offer a few minor improvements to our "nice" and "moral" life. He's here to wash us and make us clean. He's here to blow new life into our tired bones. He's here to start a revolution. He's here to make us act counter-intuitively. He's here to make us dangerous.
What I say to you I say to myself. We all need to be reminded of this. Focus more on what Jesus did for you, and you'll end up being able on focus less on what your wife did to you.
In fact there'a a parable about that. A man owed someone a fortune, and he begged for mercy -- his creditor forgave him the whole debt. This man who had just been forgive a huge debt went to someone who owed him a tiny amount of money. The man who owed very little begged for mercy, but the guy refused to forgive him the debt and threw him in prison. We are often like that. We have been forgiven so much, but we are so short on mercy to others.
