Boy I so remember those days...I can relate to the songs on the radio making want to burst into tears...you don't realize how many songs there are about broken up R's until you are in the quick sand of it all...I had to quit watching the news and reading the paper because it was too depressing...I quit listening to much music because it made me sad...
I know the "feel like crap" feelings too...my H would disappear without a trace for months at a time...for our young S9 (at the time) this was so very hard...he even told me that he pretended he didn't have a dad...or would try and forget him...how sad is that???
For what it is worth, where you are now is just so rotten...but as Willing pointed out...it does get easier...and sometimes...yes, it does happen because I am proof...our mates return...they gain themselves and actually return to someone we can like and love again...it is so hard to believe when you see what they are doing now...but I can tell you stories about H that would curl a bald mans hair...yet after almost 2 years (I know that is a sucky long time) he came home...and we are doing so much better now...he has been back for about 18 months now...it hasn't all been romance and roses either...there were times I thought I was insane to have let him come home...but we worked through it...and I can honestly tell him morning and night that I love him...and he can tell me the same...although it took him about a year before he could say the words...
Just keep focused on you and the kids...you will be better parents and better people when you get through this...regardless of where your S's stand at the end...
