Shocked H in NJ looking for DB help

[Willing NJ H]

Kelley, Sorry to hear how you feel but honestly, I feel the same. The difference is, I come on here and take every bit of advice to heart. I'm reading DB and DR, and talking to DBers like SOFAR, NOMO, Lin, Gina, etc. and living what they tel me. It makes it easier, not Easy! I know your pain, I can see how selfish my W is being, I see how she's throwing away our M like it's disposable, I see how she's acting like a single and stuck-up teenager by going out with her single friends, I see how she's know spending less time with our D, I see how shes looking for a fairy tale romance that is full of bliss every day forever without hard work, and I feel the pain of another man in her life and not knowing what shes doind when she's not with me. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO, AND THERE'S NOTHING POSITIVE I CAN TAKE FROM DROWING IN MY MISERY THOUGH. That's what I learn from these guys, it's making me cope. I felt like crap all day today, and she did / said a few things that made me not like her much and made me want to cry... I got over it. It hurts, it will always hurt, but it's getting easier. I know it will be a fresh wound if we divorce and sell the house, but my main concern now is actually for my D and not me. I want my wife, but I am prepared to let her go. I am not prepared to have my D grow up with divorced parents as I did, and quite honestly, think i'll always resent her for that (if we don't fix things.) I'm doing what I can and hoping for the best. In the mean time, i'm spending every day with my D, and it's the best thing in the world. I actually think my W is getting a little jealous/heart broken that my D wants me all of the time and not her. I don't want that, and know shes a good mom, but her new methods of finding herself is showing me a person I don't like much and is putting distance between her and D (and I don't think she really even sees all of it!) Keep your head up Kelley, do this for you and the kids... you CAN do it!

As for me, today hurt. W decided to go with me on a fun day with D. My nephew ended up with us because my sister was in the hospital (she's ok now), and my plans got altered a bit because W didn't help me with much. All in all, good day with the kids, but wish W didn't come. She played her MP3 player, and a few country songs came on about a woman leaving for a new man that she loved and the original love letting her go without wanting to. Then told me that she's going out for yet another girls night out on wed (to a concert) with her single friend from work (friends with the no shirt OM from the picture!) It hurt because it's her only day off for the next several days, and she just told me how she felt wrong and immature for partying like a teenager and that she was going to stop. I don't know what to think, so after the initial hurt I just put it out of my head and stopped thinking. Feels like crap, I am up and down with my outlook as to our future (like a see-saw), but i'm dangling by the thread still. Well time for bed, thats my f'ed up day... talk to everyone tomorrow. I have a lot of catching up to do on everyone's threads, and intend to do so soon. Later.