Why should men marry (According to Deida)?

[MJontheMend]

I could say that it was a spiritual event if I felt that that was true but I don't. At those times I really think it was a kind of regression back to that infantile state of being absolutely enraptured by the feminine. I can only image that the feelings are similar to those of an infant in a secure relationship, not because of a lack of such a relationship but because of an inability to remember so far back.

I had to read your post a couple times but I think I get what you are trying to convey- lol. I know what you mean because I would say that although I can have red hot monkey sex with a guy who is operating totally on an "adult" plane, I can only "fall in love" with a guy who is in some way able to allow himself or reveal himself as boyishly vulnerable. Clearly, I have had the tendency to err on the side of going with this vibe rather than wanting the vibe that would allow me to be more vulnerable. But that doesn't negate the fact that there is something valid about what you are trying to convey. If I am going with that feeling the gesture I will most usually make is that I will run my fingers through a man's hair. When I was avoiding touching my 2bx because I wanted to avoid stiff body rejection, the first comment he made that let me know that he noticed/missed my attention was along the lines of "I wish you would run your fingers through my hair like you think I'm a good person.". The funny thing is that when I made that gesture with NG he said "You're going to erase your fingerprints if you do that" because his hair is so rough but I could tell that he liked it anyway. I think the important thing is just that you have some balance in a sexual/intimate relationship. Like I was making out with NG the other night and he got me into a position where I was momentarily afraid that I was going to fall and he said "it's okay, I've got you." With my 2bx I was almost always afraid I was going to fall and even when I wasn't he usually dropped me.