Quote: PS: Tell him about the guy who tried to pick you up. Don't give any details when he ask questions, make him wonder.
told him just after...I was sitting in my car outside the book store when he called to ask when I'd be home because he was planning to go out tonight. I let him know I had just been asked to coffee by a man...h said ...you do what you need to do!!
WTF???
h is a looney!!!
I must be a looney!!!
I should have said yes to the guy...I did after all meet him in the relationship section and most of our talk was me pushing the db/dr books on him.
I probably shouldn't be saying all this here cause he may just show up on this site!! then I'd be really .
I do love my h. I don't want to give up. I do believe we can be very happy together. I just am tired of trying.
I've just been reading some in a book about affairs...I don't know if this is h's first or not...suppose that doesn't really matter..
there is a section about split selves...people who tend to do the right thing..people pleasers etc... I would tend to think that fits both h and myself. a r like this doesn't fare well...as one is always trying to please the other and ends up neglecting their own needs etc.. unlike h I am way too in touch with my emotions..the are very on the surface...I can cry at the drop of a hat!! h keeps his at bay. the affair in a split self person...can look like an mlc...they find passion...life...emotion..etc...and often attribute these things to the op..(h has done that)
what needs to happen in this scenario...is personal reflection..growth..etc.
I have done alot of that have been doing it for years now...sorting through the whats and hows of my persona..reflecting back to childhood wounds and making amends with most of them..learning and growing.
I don't see that h has done that...and in order for our r to go anywhere (or any r for that matter as even with ow..after a while she will burn out too..he needs to have ownership of his own passion..emotions etc and can't give her the keys to himself no one should hold the key..you should hold your own!! mho)
h is not in touch with his emotions etc...
the section of the book made a whole lot of sense to me...I marked the section and left it on the table...h probably wont read it and again it will just be me being deep and pshycological while h wants to just hide.
I feel like calling h and telling him that I love him and I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore if he is unwilling to do the work with me.
I wont because I know I will be met with silence and that will frustrate me.
time to do as my first piecing thread was tittled and "keep my mouth shut"
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