I saw the preview of that movie. Wish the W would see it. Need to some how get her to watch it but not "force" the idea. Again you set me straight. Great pic's I was noticing since I have been "Sick" and the W has done more around the house. MAYBE because I did everything to please her and make life easy for her that is why she got "Bored”. Maybe she felt she had no purpose. Another problem I need to deal with is taking EVERYTHING to personal. Like yesterday with the computer. I automatically thought she was doing it to me. I have sleep in our room now for 2 weeks straight. W has not been there but she wanted me to sleep there because of my getting to the bathroom. Why does 5 things positive happen and one thing negative and we always concentrate on the 1 negative thing?.
Thanks for reminding me.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Her start to this was 4/07 I found out 5/07 (Her messinger not closed while she was in shower, Bye Babe and had his name on it). Said she would stop and I thought she did, she actually tried a couple days that I remember. Then end of 5/07 she said I dont want to work on us, I dont want a divorce, I have to see this thing through, not knowing if he is the one for me would be worse for our r. Its something I have to do. I dont now if I want him, single, or our marrage. I am totaly torn up about this.
Light Switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
our sitch are sooooo similar, except my W is not still seeing OM just talking to him. (I think I have not looked at phone log). But she to has not mentioned D.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
It all sounds so new to your W and I guess in that exciting phase - but even so she has so much to lose. I know that I found out as it was all beginning to look difficult for my H but he had wanted me to find outfor ages. He had wanted me to stop it I think - I just didn't know what was going on and trusted him too much to think he wld have an A. I must admit, I don't think I could do what some of you guys do and live along side whilst your spouses indulge themselves in their A. I had to set boundaries - if not for myself then for my children. At the end of the day it was very interesting to find out that my H was insecure and afraid of being left by himself as he thought we had grown so far apart that there was no way back - he was hedging his bets. Also the sex it turned out was absolute s"!t. He would never have admitted that when in the first flush of the A I am sure but it showed me that not everything in the garden is as rosy as we LBS may think.
Just a few thoughts.
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
While eating supper w/d11 i got a text. I figured another excuse for phone not working and my heart stopped. d11 said should i get it? I said ok.
w said: I would like to have a talk with you when I get home. I have missed you more than I thought i would and just want to have a talk.
I just about cried at the table. Just like now retyping it.
I am excited but extremly terrified at the same time.
At work today I wrote several things down to share and ask db'ers. One of them was I feel like im waiting for to come home w/her decision (the verdict).
now i dont know what to think and everything is racing in my head. I have to think for a while be back in a little bit.
Any comments welcome thanks Light Switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
My first advice is for you to lower your expectations as soon as possible. Try thinking of the worst possible translation of her message. Not sure what that would be, but....
Anyway, the point is to think of something negative, and then whatever she says will be an improvement. As opposed to assuming that all is well in your world and then having her dash your hopes no matter what she says.
Don't think of ANYTHING. Wait and see. There is no use thinking positive and getting your hopes up or negative and getting depressed. Don't let your mind fill in the blanks. If anything the positive is your W missed your D. That means she misses the family. It is a start but don't expect her to come running back to you. This is a good sign. There is a "hole" in the "Force Field". BUT.... Don't make it is a big thing. Baby steps, the Hole could get bigger.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I have been preparing myself for the d talk(w wanting one) when she returns. I have been thinking we will end up d before her light switch turns on. I heard people talk of others who d and get back together. Even my l said that some of the people he d's, get remarried. At the pace she is going i figured this is a strong possibility.
Light Switch
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
I agree, I would try really hard right now to not try to guess what she wants. Just take it for what it is, and deal with it when she gets home. Remember if she does say she wants to make the family a priority again, dont get over excited like Michelle states in her book. Keep db'ing because sometimes it is a back and forth thing with the WAS's.
A month ago i decided to keep all the penneys i find(lucky). About a week ago i decided to make a neclace then decided to make it hang from rear view mirror. Yesterday after good day stopped at WM and bought letter beads. I used fishing line and wrote "my lucks changin" with penneys between words. I drilled small holed in penneys. Only have four right now but i plan on adding to it. The kids wanted to give me penneys. I said no It only works if i find them. I finished it last night and i think it may be working.
Light Switch
Last edited by light switch; 08/07/0712:39 AM.
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
