I hate to see you so discouraged, especially after all the support (and hope, a lot of the time) you have given me. As you know, I feel I know your H. I would have many of the same questions if my H returned, although it really doesn't look like I will have that opportunity.
I keep hoping your H will be willing to go to counselling with you, and that you can find a good C - if he truly is like my H, he would open up more with a professional present (which may well be why they are both avoiding C). It's crazy I know, that he won't share those things with you alone, but C may be the best way to find out what he is thinking / hoping / wanting. Then look to change some of the patterns between you. Still, if he won't go...
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