He hears... he just doesn't react the way you want him to, take the actions you want him to. It sucks, and I'm sorry. This was a hard one for me to learn too, and I still struggle with it.
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Should I tell him that the friend thing is not going to ever happen while he is still seeing her? Or just show it?
I am pretty sure you answered this for yourself already but NO.
I hate to say this because I know it's gonna hurt but... he isn't sitting there hoping for your friendship right now. He knows you need to be civil for the kids, but I doubt he wants much more right now. Think of OT's water cooler post.
Do what you need to do, for you, and your kids. That's all. How to act if/when he stops the A, how to act 6 months from now.. none of it matters today, so work on letting it go.
I know this will sound backwards, but if you can, try NOT reading any D-related self help books for awhile (well, except maybe helping the kids, but none of the others). Just take a break from it. Focus on the positives and on yourself for awhile.
(((Donna))))
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
