Are we piecing yet?

[ediemarie]

Hi Faith -
Husband is right. You do have to get out and enjoy life on your own. You can't do anything about your H's affair - not really.

I'm kinda in a similiar sitch as you are - and I did push my H to end his A - and he did - in March, but just this past month rekindled the R with the OW. He now says that he has ended things with her, again and finally.

The only thing that helped me to deal with all of this better is that I detached from him. I came to accept the fact that I CANNOT make him do anything - including move out of our home. I finally realized that he needs to own the bad situation he has created in our marraige - and it has helped. And I refuse to accept any responsiblity for his A. I did help contribute to the problems in our R, but I did not force him to go to another.

Don't talk about the A with him. Go out and do something for yourself - I know that is SOOOO much easier said than done. I too struggle with that immensely. But I have started doing little things here and there and it's beginning to help and it gets easier as time goes on.

If others (such as family members and friends) know about your situation they will think you are crazy. Be prepared to turn a deaf ear to them.

Come here and write. Sometimes people don't comment but getting it out here will help you either way. For some reason it just helps to put it out here. When others can help, they will.

Hang in there!
Hugs
EM