What I had I mind regarding time for the parents was not really with small kids. For instance, if going to Disneyworld, the family should go out together every day, all day, to maximize the use of that expensive 3 day pass. But after that, there is no reason why the family can’t do something the parents want to do for a day, even if that includes sending the kids to the pool for a few hours while the parents get some nooky. I know this doesn’t work with small kids, but then small kids aren’t nearly so demanding on where they go or what they do on vacation. They’re all clueless anyway.
I think kids impose on the parents during vacation when they are older and possibly a little spoiled. But then, that’s the parent’s own doing. I think my wife does this much more than I. For instance, I like to do things that I have done in my past in order to share those experiences with my kids. My wife seems to like doing whatever things the kids want to do in order to make them happy. She has a completely different purpose than I, so she seems to be more driven to avoid the guilt of having to tell them no. Her purpose in trying to please the kids is inherently flawed doomed to these problems. Then she gets angry when the kids don’t appreciate her efforts to please.
That differs from my purpose of exposing them to new things. It is rare that they would ask me to do something that I have not already experienced, so if I tell them no, it will usually be for something in which I see no learning value, or which I don’t want to do (or maybe is too expensive). Since my purpose is not to please them, I don’t have to worry about avoiding guilt if I tell the kids no. Now this doesn’t mean I don’t try to please the kids, because I do. It is just not my primary driver.
