Plank/WAW, thread 2

[Heimlich]

Just had a quick call with my wife. Our bank statements came in today and she had take 3/4 of our savings account out and placed it in a new savings account. I had a feeling why she did this, and I was right, but I was still a little steamed. So I called.

I noticed that you took XX dollars and opened a new savings account. That was tremendously disrespectul and I'd like to hear why you did it. She was very cold and curt.

W: I'll tell you when I get home from work.
Me: Fine. But I'd like you to know that's pretty hurtful.

A few more moments of innefectual back and forth and I said, "Fine" and hung up on her. She called back about 20 seconds later.

W: I'm not trying to take the money.
Me: I know that you're not out to screw me over with money. I don't care about that. I've been poor before. I could give a [censored] about the money. What hurts is that you would take our money and do something with it without asking me.
W: I did it because I start thinking about all of the negatives and I didn't know how you'd react when you were home by yourself. I just keep thinking things through to the worst possible conclusion. Would you be bitter? Would you take all of the money or go on a spending spree? Would you pick me up from the airport? Would you have the house cleaned out when I got back? That's just the way I think and I was protecting myself and the girls.

Me: I know that's how you think. That's been a problem, you think about things, but don't let me know what's goign on in your head. In the last year, have I acted in any way other than showing you that I'm still in love with you and want to be married to you?

W: No

Me: It's tremendously hurtful that you would think that I would do those things to you. I want to protect our girls too. I would not and will not ever hurt you. I've only lost myself with you once and I'll regret that to the day that I die, but I want you to know that this isn't about the money, but about how hurtful it is that you would think that about me.

W: That's just the way I think. Trying to protect the girls and myself.

Me: Again, I'll never hurt you. I still love you, but I want you to be happy. It's just that this hurt me tremendously that you would think that. Put yourself in my shoes, how would you feel?

W: I know. I apologize, but I just didn't know how you'd react to being by yourself.

Then she said something about talking later and we told each other goodbye.

Need some advice:
If we talk later, I'd like to ask her if one of the reasons she's holding back is that she's spun out the worst case scenario in her mind that we'll try to get our M back together and I'll end up telling her no.

Good or bad to bring up?

BD