ok so...h is not happy...doesn't know what he wants...doesn't have any answers....doesn't know what we will do...know full well of my feelings...I even told him that there are some nights when I feel like getting in my car and driving as fast as I can away...h understood.
so anyway...after a bunch of circular conversation...I mentioned the bb (he already knows of it but I think assumes it's mostly people on my side of the sit) and that I've come across several people in his position...(the one who had an ea/pa...is unsure of the m...doesn't know etc) I let him know about char....how she felt when her h asked for commitment..that I understood how he felt when I asked him the same...then mentioned the "piece of crap" (ha ha) book that she had mentioned and how it was (she felt) non-threatening..and that there were activities in it etc...would he be interested in it...after a moment of silence he said sure...
so I knew and now I know...h isn't happy...so now I know neither of us is happy...I am at least wanting to do something about it...h isn't sure and doesn't know what to do...I let h know that though I may be deep (his description of me) and phycological (also his) I don't pretend to have it all figured out..that I am scared and I don't know what will happen or if it will work (us being happy together)
said something really cool about simply believing it possible and going from there...but you have to believe..h right now doesn't but wouldn't say so.
gave another cool analogy of the need to nuture a r...compared a r to of all things a lawn!!
great lawn...beautiful lawn...don't water it...don't fertelize it and suddenly your lawn has brown spots and is fading..can it be revived...sure but it will at first take a lot of work...lots of water...irrating and overseeding...fertelizer...etc...yes there will be some irriparable sections but those you patch with new saud (or loam I get them confused) and suddenly your lawn is looking pretty good again..and doesn't need as much attention...but you do have to keep tending to it.
it made sense to h.
we'll see where all this goes...maybe nowhere...
btw...h has been plowing ow's driveway..and did talk to her when he did so.
