1. Wife's family sound like a real mess. Jerry Springer material. Sounds like she's cut from the same cloth.
2. Could you manage complete custody of the kids? If so, take it. If not, talk to your wife again about how you both you talk to the kids. If she plays hard-ball, tell them you have kept her affair from them, the least she can do is be civil when talking about you.
3. Why are you divorcing your wife? Because she had an affair? Because you are "fed-up" with her antics? Is she an unfit mother? Be clear. Which is it?
4. Why are you on these boards: to save your marriage or get affirmation that your divorce was justified?
5. It's not wrong for you to own up to your faults. You contributed to this, too. Confession is good. Yes, you failed your wife as she has failed you.
6. I think you need to live a stable, honorable life that is filled with joy and adventure: for yourself and your kids. Maybe that will stimulate your wife to change. Ranting about how screwed up she is will not help you live a sane, healthy life. Bitterness will kill you.
7. How long before the divorce is final? 3, 6, 12 months?
8. If the divorce is some way off, then I suggest you actually detach and get a life and see what happens. Stop caring so much or ruminating so much over what she "did" to you. You can always change your mind IF she shows remorse over the affair and makes serious moves towards dealing with her issues.
9. Go ahead, be the man God calls you to be. Strong, fit, confident, joyful, courageous. Let God take care of the results.
