You know what is very weird, the way we can make it seem like our partners are doing something they aren't because that is how we want them to be. When my DD was about 6 months or so H had a bit of an outburst and insisted that he be allowed out to play 1 night a week to go to the scuba club. I was a bit upset as the kids were very much a handful at the time and tricky to get both of them down to sleep single-handed but recognised he was at the end of his tether so let him. Further down the line he also insisted he would go on trips with the club. Again I recognised he needed his space and let him go. I even put up with snide remarks from other wives when we would be invited to weekend dos and he would not be there. Thinking well if you want to be that controlling wife you go ahead girl and see where it gets you. A couple of years ago we all went on one of the dive trips together. I have also been to a few social events that the dive club organises as well as a couple of weddings of people at the club.
Now five years down the line H tells me I have always resented him going! There is absolutely nothing I have done (or even felt deep down) which signalled any kind of resentment about it. I simply don't resent it, I think it is great that he has a GAL activity. So why does he paint me in this light? There is some purpose for him that it serves.
I am sure HD that there is a purpose for MsHD in painting you selfish.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
