thing is h's way just like sage's h was to always just avoid things..never mentioning that anythings wrong...
now if h is dealing with guilt and remorse about what he's done and said and letting it all out the one time that he did (back when he decided to try to come home) was enough to ease his concience to me though that seems odd I suppose I have to accept it...he got it off his chest made his appologies and I guess then I have to throw out the "love is always having to say your sorry line" it would be nice (for me anyway) if h did have these feelings for him to at least express them on some level to me...maybe he is on some level and I just don't see it because I'm so busy waiting to hear it..but then we don't speak the same language all the time..which leads me to my real issue..
I wasn't happy in this m...my needs weren't being met...I often ran down cheesless tunnel after tunnel trying to fix things...begging..pleading...blaming...crying...etc...to get nowhere...
obviously I wasn't the only one who was unhappy...if I was meeting all h's needs why would he spend time elswhere?? why would he leave?? because I wasn't happy??
I ask h...what are your needs? h doesn't know.. I ask h...what about me makes you want to be near me? h doesn't know I ask h...what about me (or what do I do) makes you want to run away? h doesn't know I ask h..where do you see us in ten years...h doesn't know..
h has NO answers to these questions...not even vauge ones...
I am not totally interested in talking about the a..what I am interested in is talking about what h wants and needs...what h's expectations of us are...what the future holds for us..what h's intentions for us are...is he staying for the kids?? does he plan to some day leave...really I just want to talk about something other than gee this is what I did at work today..a truck broke down bla bla bla this broke that broke...I'll be home at such and such...
