it's beautiful outside...like 44 a major difference to the freezing temps of prior weeks!!
dd has bad cold...little snot face!
had a friend come over and stay with her so son and I could go food shopping..
had a recieved call when I got back to the car from h...no message...
just having negative thoughts today..
how could h knowingly spend so much time with ow...how could h just sit and keep his mouth shut for so long when I'd ask if he thought this was the way it was supposed to be...all along knowing he wasn't happy but not saying anything..then all along knowing he was having an innapropriate r with another woman and still not saying anything about it...leaving etc...lying etc...
I wonder if I am having to deal with all these feelings...shame, embarrasment, humiliation, betrayal, despair, anger, frustration etc...is h even feeling anything or is he just happy to have the truth out and is merrily going about life as if it all never happend???
I am very frustrated that h wont go to c...or talk about us...
going with the flow..taking it one day at a time is fine and all but at some point these things will have to be addressed...and my fear is that by the time he's comfy and ready to discuss things I just wont care anymore..
so anyway as you can tell from my tone today...I'm heading back down the waw road...I don't like it I don't want to feel this way but really I am getting sick of "pretending" that all is well when it isn't.
"love is always having to say your sorry" why then does h take the stance that he already said sorry and now we have to move on...what if I'm not satisfied with that.
