I tried to send you one and it says this user is over their private message limit! I find that hard to believe as we have so few posts and I have never even used that before!
You are doing well. No crying pleading or begging is a good step. I would continue to take money to match whatever he does. You might want to take more in small amounts, fake some expenses. The only reason I would not pursue selling the house is that then it might be easier for him to stay where you are, and then you would have miles in distance between you and that would make it harder. You have to figure out what the chances are you would both move back home together. Talk to the therapist about this. I tell you if he wants to handle the money together I bet he is not going to do this. He is not acting like someone who is divorcing. Keep doing what you are doing!
On my end is was a long weekend. H is really angry as I told him he could pay the 41.5% penalty on the money he took out of the 401k out of his half to pay for his divorce! We are giving 10,000 to the goverment. There is something wrong with him...he claims he was "forced"to withdraw it as I would not sign a 401k loan, or a home equity loan. The wording was since I forced him to do it! That I keep changing my mind, I have never changed my mind, I consistently said NO to all money borrowing and I said I did not want divorce. He sends me these threatening emails that if I change my mind the Pro Se thing is off and he is getting an attorney and he may change the settlement offer and he is telling this lawyer he may get that he will not do any negotiating, only represent me in court and fill out the necessary paperwork. Huh? He has said this before. He is telling me that I have to do what he says in all of this. He thinks somehow that if I get an attorney and want to change anything he can just do what he does to me in life, no talk, just the way he wants it. It is ok for him to change things, not me. He is trying to leverage me just as he tried with the loans. He thinks negotiating is, I do what he wants and he gives me something I am going to get anyhow! Too much.
He moved out first time in dec03/jan04 for 6 weeks, Spring 05 for 10 weeks and I think this time it is 13 weeks as of now. The first time my therapist told him to do it, other time he did in anger. He has for years every time something goes wrong says that's it I want a divorce or I'm moving out. I used cry, plead etc. The last few years in therapy I say let me help you pack, get out. This has never gone this far. I do want him back, but Sat his nasty anger was here when I was in our yard looking at trees insurance inspector wants cut. He has no respect for me, trying to control me. Guess the meds are not helping him either.
This helps to write it out knowing someone is at least reading it. I had some weepy moments over the weekend. He has let this place go and it is overwhelming. I am the one who has to sell!
