LIC - I'll give you my 2 cents on contacting OP....
I was the one who was unfaithful in our M. One night, with a co-worker. Very long story - you're getting a condensed version.
I was honest with H, told him who, etc. He already had 2 of his #'s from our cell bill but easily looked up his home #. He called him quite a few times. In my sitch, om rarely told me. He mentioned one day that H threatened him and he contacted a L...not sure if he wanted me to relay that info or what........but you know, I wasn't supposed to be talking to him (and did for 2 months after that night)....
One day H came by work, saw me on the phone with om, confronted me - we had it out, I told him everything that was said - good and bad. He called om again and the next day om came back to say we "couldn't talk anymore" because I was telling H everything that was said.......
It was then, that I realized what a POS he was. For me, H's contact with him didn't push me away - mostly because I wasn't aware of it.
I don't know if that helped at all or not.
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....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...