For myself hearing and "getting" how much my wife loved and truly cared for me in such a deep way helped, understanding that even though we not always very sexual that she truly felt so deeply for me was profound. As far a sessions, we went for somewhere about 24 sessions with our ST, who is in Vancouver.
Unlike your guy we we're not told what aproach we were using it seem we moved fairly naturally through a bunch of eclectic approaches. Schnachian hugging till relaxed, voice therapy, EFT and other various approaches were all used but I think the talk therapy was most important for each of us to listen and understand what the other was saying. These things take on a bit of a different feeling when there is a third party there helping guide you along. Our ST was also very compassionate and understanding of both of our separate "stories".
For myself it was important not to consider my wife the patient and myself "along for the ride" I wanted to get to "my stuff" as well, I think it would have been unproductive to be thinking that she was the only one who needed to grow.
One of the things that I found surprising was that as we got "closer" and more intimate was how truly uncomfortable I became. I thought that was her problem that she didn't want to be close, but it was a two way street.
My level of tolerance of intimacy was enforced by a passive escaping and hers was through active avoidance. So we had a perfect little dance set up where we were only going to get so close. I could whine all I wanted about the lack of intimacy but the truth was I couldn't really tolerate very much at that point.
I can't say that there was any magic break though just that we slowly started to heal through the time that we went to therapy and we went from being my wife not being able to tolerate me touching her sexually in any way to having really good sex at least once a week in about 8 months. I think that's pretty amazing and am quite proud of what we both accomplished at times it seemed like we would just take two steps forward and fall back one but in the end it added up.
