Why on earth would your W think the counsellor was joking, or that his suggestions can be left to one side? She is in deep denial over this. Many women lose their sex drive after the birth of a child. By 13 months there really are no more hormonal excuses, so it is now habit and psychology that are stopping her. It is vitally important that she get back on the horse.
I suggest you print out the following and give it to her Dear Mrs Proxac,
Your husband has posted on an excellent forum for people who feel they are not getting enough physical affection and sex in their marriage. This forum includes both men and women ALL of whom are looking to save their marriages not fishing for new partners. Some are low drive women, some are high drive women, some are low drive men (not many) and some are high drive men.
Your marriage is in danger. Is that what you want for your daughter?
I suggest you pitch in and look at the reason you think it is OK for you to starve your husband of something he finds NECESSARY in order to feel happy in his marriage. Would it be OK for him to starve you? If you feel like he is starving you of something then tell him what it is - he has had the courtesy to tell you what he feels starved of. If you don't feel starved then he is doing a good job as a husband, so ask yourself if you are doing a good job as a wife.
Don't you dare turn around and say "oh I just don't feel like it" or "I don't have any desire". Part of loving someone is doing things for them that are out of your comfort zone. He needs you to do this for him, otherwise your marriage will end up on the rocks.
Many low drive women have posted on here and many have found that by just getting on with it they rediscover their old levels of desire. This is not a take or leave it part of the marriage. This is ESSENTIAL.
If you wish to join us here then you would be very welcome.
Fran
A wife who has been both high and low drive during her 16 year marriage so knows the feeling from both sides
If she doesn't believe I exist then get her on this forum. You have nothing to lose by doing so and there are examples of people here who have been helped hugely by their partners joining them on this forum. You have not posted anything on here that she doesn't already know. And you have had nothing but positive and nice things to say about her except for feeling she is short-changing you in the sex department.
Lots of luck
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
