I know how you feel. I think he does need to suffer consequences for his actions. So he should feel some anger. But you don't want to make it so much that you drive him further away. Difficult balance.
We read parts of the book After the Affair until we went to Retrouvaille. I think it's by Janis Springer, but I could be wrong about the author. It is good because it looks at the situation from the perspective of both the cheating spouse and the hurt spouse.
Retrouvaille will give you the chance to really express your feelings in vivid language. You could go to one in a different state and then do the post sessions in your hometown. But even waiting a month after the weekend for the post sessions will be difficult. The weekend is great. It stops you in your tracks and sets you in a new direction. But it isn't enough. You still need those other six sessions to work on forgiveness and rebuilding the marriage.
After the weekend I felt like an aquatic creature that had grown legs, but didn't quite know how to use them. The post sessions got us walking forward on dry land.
