Still Seperated and Hopeful

[mcojh]

OK, haven't posted in a while, nothing has been happening. An update from a "date" we went on Sat night.

We went out for dinner at a Mexican place. It was nice. We talked and laughed. Towards the end, she started an R talk. She told me that she had seen an attorney for advice and she wanted to know from me what I thought was a fair settlement. I was taken by surprise and couldn't answer. I asked her if she had thought anymore about counseling and she said, "not at this time"

We talked more at the restaurant and then she hit me with a bomb. She told me that she didn't even feel like she knew me. She said that I have never even talked about my dad to her. (He died when I was 15). I suddenly felt like I was going to hurl. We talked in the restaurant for about 10 minutes. She told me that she likes me as a friend but feels that she can never see more than that. She says that she has tried to see if there is a "spark" between us when we have gone out and there has been none. She has gotten slightly drunk with me and still never feels an attraction. We left the restaurant and continued to talk. It went around in circles. When I got to her place, we talked for about 20 more minutes in the truck. I told her that in counseling, my C had told me that I had an issue with my dad's death and never dealt with it. I totally lost it talking about him to her. I told her how I missed him, how hardly a day goes by and I don't think of him and how embarrased I am that I can't talk about it to her. I was sobbing as I talked about him to her.

I told her a lot of things, including the fact that my C told me that until I deal with these feelings, our M can never heal. I left her and went home. About 10 minutes after I got home, S6 called for something. I talked to him and hung up. About 30 minutes later, CW called to check on me. I told her I was fine and that I would call her in the AM about church. I went to bed, still pretty sad.

Any thoughts?????