My wife and I have been married for 5 years and we have a 1 year old daughter. We dated for 4 years before we were married. The early days of being together were full of lots of sex. It tapered off though well before we were married, but to an acceptable frequency. After marriage it stayed about the same for the first year or so. From that point it started decreasing more. Once she was pregnant and since she had our daughter it has almost completely stopped.
I see from reading a few pages of threads that I am not alone in this. Much like infinitypuzzles in this thread. My wife loves me and does a lot for me. We have been seeing a counselor (psychologist) for about a year now and that has helped our marriage an awful lot. The bad part is he totally sees my wants and needs for intimacy and sex, he even tells her things to do and she is usually like "ok" but then when home nothing ever happens. When we talk about it she is usually like "I took that as a joke" or "I took that as a suggestion". She never takes anything he says regarding sex as a direct easy to follow item, always as something else. We have had sex 3 or 4 times in the last 13 months (since our daughter was born). Before that it was not exactly that much more often! Maybe 5-10 times a year. I realize that my sex drive has and probably always will be high, but my wife has NONE! She even says she has none. It isn't that she cant enjoy sex but that she has no desire for it. I just don't get the total lack of desire for something that is enjoyable. The last 2 time we had it, she said it was good and that it was because I was more "aggressive" and "initiating" the last 3 or 4 times I tried to initiate and be more aggressive I got none. So I am now at the point that I have lost all confidence and don't feel like doing any initiating or being "aggressive" as a result. She is always tired or else has a long list of things to do, none if which are me.
I love my wife more than imaginable and I find her totally attractive! Yet I feel as if my only options are to become a eunuch or find some drug that would kill my sex drive. I have asked her if she would he happy if we never had sex again and her response was something like "There is no way for me to know that" but it was not a "No" so it might as well have been "yes". She says "you can't fight biology" and blames the entire lack of desire on that.
