Trudging up hill

[ediemarie]

LS - first - I'm glad you had a great day yesterday! Keep hanging in there!!(((LS)))

In regard to my stich: did he end it? Well THAT is the million dollar question. He said he did. Keep in mind this is the story I am getting from him - who knows if he's telling the truth? Basically, he left our home on Friday night with OW. She took him back to her place (she is 36 and still lives with her Mom and Dad - they were away for the weekend) and they had sex. Now the significance of the sex is that according to H this was their first time. Up until now they have had an EA with PA but never fully had sex - did lots of other stuff - everything but that. So Friday, H decided that he did not want to be married to me. He sends her a text message to come and get him (his car died last week). She picks him up, they have sex and then he wakes up Saturday morning and tells her that he can't leave me. He doesn't want to be a divorced man. He told her that he's made a mistake and he has to fix his marriage.

Now, when I heard this story I immediately felt that I was being played - and I still do. I have requested all along that he quit his job (they work together). He has to - and he agrees. Before he even came back on Saturday he said that he and OW discussed who should quit (gag) and they agreed that he should be the one. Oh he is such a martyr ... ugh...

Anyway - I'm not happy. I want to walk. I feel like I'm being handed one lie after another. I'm tired.

At one point this weekend while he and I were talking about stuff, I told him that maybe he should just go make things work with her. We don't own a home, we have no kids, what's the point in this? I told him he should go - his response was UNBELIEVABLE - he said, "well, if I leave you to be with her, my relationship with her would be tainted. Our relationship just wouldn't be right." WTF? Hello? Was it ever right? Why do I get to be the one in the tainted relationship? Isn't our M tainted?

So, your guess is as good as mine LS - I have no idea if he REALLY ended it. If he quits his job that may be a sign that he is serious.

thanks for stopping by and caring! That helps so much!!!

EM