Stories don't always end

[BeingMe]

Me: 49
H: 45
Married: 21 years Together: 22.5 years
4 children: D27 (married with 2 children), Twins 20 (B/G), and D14
Bomb: May 2004
Piecing since May 2005

So! Another thread comes to a grinding halt .... 16 pages later. That must be a record!

My D14 and I watched Miss Potter the other day, and it was such a magical, gentle, moving movie. I enjoyed it so much! I always have loved Beatrix Potter's children's stories, and used to read it to my kiddywinks when they were small. Hereunder, is a quote from the movie which I find pertinent to our sitch's.

Beatrix Potter: "Stories don't always end where their authors intended. But there is joy in following them, wherever they take us." (Miss Potter)

Whatever happens with our M's, the story doesn't end after piecing, or even divorce. Our stories continue, and we hope with greater joy. Just as Miss Potter lost her love through death, she eventually found a new one, and a new life beyond what most of us would think is unbearable. Life does go on, and we should find as much of our own magic, and joy possible, while being truthful, honourable, and authentic as we can. Being true to ourselves does not mean destroying the lives of others, but finding a way to support those seeking their own truth (and allowing a little self-sacrifice with being a martyr ... some things, like our children, are worth sacrificing some effort to see whether the M can be rejuvenated).

So, once again, in starting a new thread, I wax philosophical. The world is a strange place, sometimes dark and sometimes light, and we each are on our own journey that follows the path through the dark and light, hopefully girding ourselves with courage, like little red riding hood did with her scarlet cloak (okay, now I'm waxing metaphorical ... haha). The alternative is misery, pain, and a life not well lived. In my humble opinion.

My signature has a quote from Yoda, in Star Wars: "Train yourself to let go... of everything you fear to lose." I still am training myself to let go of the things I fear to lose. Fear feeds our anger, our pain, our sorrow, jealousy, despair, and all those types of negative emotions. While we may never vanquish fear, we do need to control it in such a way, that we can let go, eventually, of that we fear the most to lose ... our marriages. Often, that is when we find it again, renewed and more magical than ever. Or, we move on to find a better life beyond.

Hope I made sense here.

As for my M ... H and I still see each other only on weekends. With his working away from home during the week, it feels like I am a SAHM, but I don't mind too much. I do get lonely, but I have started putting into action some of my GAL goals, such as meeting new people (Toastmasters), renewing acquaintances (invited a lady to dinner who I met when we first arrived here 2 years ago .. it was nice to hang out with someone other than my children), and so on. I still continue with my other passions ... painting, writing, reading. We still have to consider what to do with H's new job (to move or not to move, and if to move, then when ... you know, all those circling questions), but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, we will just deal with the present.

So there you are, friends. I think I'm moving forward in the right direction.

If anyone is interested, here is the link to my My Last Thread