--First-- I would like to share my gal day: Last night i wasnt tired stayed up till 2:00 then didnt fall asleep till 3:00? planned a fargo day with d16 and d11. Left home at 9:00, 9:05 w/calls can i talk to d11, (seemed pissed at me) I said yes and gave her the phone. Hasnt called this evening. I took them rock climbing, grilled hot dogs in park, threw frisbe, played hackey, and took them on a long bike ride on the cool trails. We were wore out after ride. Came home made supper, mowed lawn, cleaned, took out garbage, started washing clothes... Im trying to keep busy but it doesnt stop those heart stopping feelings from creeping in throughout the day. Overall it was a great day with the kids.
--Second-- Husband, I think evryone has there own reasons for going on. mine are (in no particular order) MY WIFE - we have a history, its not all good and great but i know her and love her, i know we can make each other happy just need some work to get it right (both of us). MY KIDS - they are absolutely awsome, d20 was a handful and i think i lost hair out of that deal but i wouldnt give it up for anything, d16 is strait A student and totaly responsible, d11 is kind of shy at first but comes out of it she is the first to get into sports, s7 is spitting image of me, (I guess I should be scared) right now he is very inventive and creative also a good drawer for his age. My Desire To Be Happy / Have a Great Life - Although it is on hold right know I know it is possible. I watched a movie on HBO last night The Last Kiss, one part that stood out was, fil(counselor) of h(who cheated) told him 'you cant fail if you dont give up', that saying is sticking with me. One more thing in the movie was "What you feel only matters to you, Its what you do to the people you say you love, thats what matters, thats the only thing that counts.
--Third-- I have questions. I dont want to push her away. I did enough of that already. I planned on sleeping in our room instead of spare room when she returns and telling her she is welcome to sleep on her side of the bed as long as she stays on her side. I do want my nuts back but dont want to push her away. The spare room is a futon and it sucks. I feel I cant go to bed till d11 goes to bed first then sneek in spare room. Stay in our room or no confrontation and go back in spare room??? Leaning tward our room. Any input? How to act on her return. She may have made a decision to persue om. Maybe me. Do I let her bring this up to me or should I ask? I am terified. If its not me, Should I tell her she needs to file if she wishes?
