Madonna/Whore Complex (part 7)

[Heywyre]

Well, the ST appointment was TENSE, to say the least. The session was bad enough but then we went for lunch afterwards and H really got into it and was SO defensive that we didn't talk all the way home AND for about 4 hours once we did. I was choked and ps'd off too. I won't go into too much detail but these are some of the things H told me:

(1) I can't change my personality (not that I was asking him to)

(2) maybe we aren't compatible

(3) maybe we shouldn't be together

(4) maybe I can't give you what you need emotionally

(5) I can't fix what you were lacking in your childhood

(6) maybe you need to fix something inside of you but that has nothing to do with me

He got so totally defensive and the conversation got absolutely nowhere. It got so intense at one point, I truly though our R was over with

After 4-5 hours of silence, he came into the livingroom and started making small talk, I was cool about it

He then initiated a conversation which ended up being a pretty good talk. We discussed women's emotions (which he insisted were different from men's, but I said "they aren't different, some people just process them differently". It took quite a while before he understood where I was coming from and changed his tune and said "maybe I didn't explain myself correctly, I meant to say women need more emotional support" - which I don't agree with either, but we agreed to disagree on that one, until we see the ST again.

The bottom line, I guess, is that we survived our first emotionally focused therapy (which can be brutal from all I have read about it and a lot of couples don't manage to stick it out - I am hoping we are not one of the those couples)