Sorry to not have found your thread myself. I cannot recommend Retrouvaille highly enough. It changed our lives. Not all at once. The weekend was a real turning point, but the weekly reinforcement of homeowrk and follow-up "post" sessions continued the journey in a new direction. Enough that we got the hang of it and could continue on ourselves! I think Retrouvaille before counseling is a good plan. I am going to go back to an old thread and capture my story and post it here if you don't mind. I'll do that when I finish this letter.
I love what you said about missing out on new love. That was how I felt too. I was so jealous of my husband getting to do that again, while I stayed home in the everyday existence. I never thought it would be him and not me! Really, for years I thought my old boyfriend would show up one day and say, "C'mon, from now on it's you and me." And it never happened. So I had to fix my marriage.
But you wouldn't believe us today. We are a completely different couple. Tonight we had dinner at the restaurant where I first accused him of having an affair and nearly threw my drink at him. And we were talking and laughing (not about that), and he was looking at me with love in his eyes. And I thought, it's OK I can come here again. Her spectre is really gone.
Get to the first Retrouvaille weekend you can. And go to all the post sessions, do the homework. It really works!
